Go away.

Let me just get one thing straight. I was reading this girl's blog, and she said that humans like to blame their flaws on disorders. This is true.
I'm probably not bipolar. I probably don't have an eating disorder. I'm probably just not happy with what I have.

But in case I am bipolar, just let me say. Be lucky that you don't cry just because you were embarrassed for 30 seconds maximum. Be lucky that you don't have feelings to hurt someone when they didn't do anything except try to find what their identity is. Be lucky that you fit into this generation.

I know I complain about this alot, but it really is true. I don't belong here. Whether its standing by all these unfamiliar people in the morning, or just keeping to myself around my friends.

Oh, Jem, what's wrong? You look down.
You look sad.
Are you okay?
Are you crying?!

If you really knew me by now... I'm not. Or maybe I'm a bad liar when I really am sad. Eh. I don't cry to get attention. I'm just... myself, surprisingly.

I don't like people. I bumped into a girl today in the hallway, because I wasn't paying attention. I realized it was entirely my fault, so I said "Oh, I'm so sorry." and tried to get out of her way. Apparently, people have really short tempers because she pretty much lost it after I was "out of hearing distance." People are weird, odd, and sometimes desperate. Some people get scared that they won't get what they want when they're older, so they try and get it now. What I realized, is that we have time. We're not gonna die in some freak accident, and the world isn't going to end in 2012. See, if people were just positive all the time, and didn't have to worry, and actually ENJOYED the things around them, maybe I'd be happy. Maybe I wouldn't be writing about this. Maybe, just maybe, I'd be up on my roof right now looking at the moon. But, its kinda cold outside and I don't wanna get sick.

People annoy me. I want to go away. By myself, for once. For once, I don't wanna bring anybody, no offense. I just... need to experience independence. I'm always having things done for me, whether I want it or not. And, that's led to a bad outcome. I'm used to having things done for me, so if something's not done, I can't do anything. I.E, homework in my bedroom. I can't do it unless my room is clean, then my homework just ends up being done later. Rawr.

I want my own apartment without the whole reality of it. Without having to pay bills, and insurance and all that other adult nonsense. Just to see what's its like to cook and clean for myself. It'll be good for me. & I can wear my TMNT shirt all day because its the most comfortable thing I have right now.

Now, I don't wanna brag, but I must make really good first impressions for all these people taking my passions and calling it their own.

Here's the thing. YOUANDYOURCOPYCATSELF should go away. YOUANDYOURFAKESELF should go away. YOUANDYOURWANNABELIKEME self should go away. YOUANDYOURDESPERATEACT self should go away. And I'll just stay with Seejay while you all go away.

I need to say this no matter what the result. Its not to be angry at you, its to be emotional, for me. [spanglish]

Go away.
Leave me alone.
Get some knowledge.
And get away from me.

P.S. Don't leave, RR. I need you home to keep me sane.♥